Peace Like a River

Have you ever noticed how life seems to get hard when you are presented with Spiritual Feasts? As a family, we've commented before on how, especially around General Conference, there seems to be more challenges to face and choices to make. For me, the last two General Conferences have been in the middle of craziness - crazy schedules, crazy things going on, and a general sense of "I'm going crazy." This General Conference was no different. Besides my own cycle of injury I'm trying to break out of, three of my friends are going through some really hard times, my Mom has been under major stress at school and has a leadership training meeting coming up (which is always high stress), and my Gorgeous Grandma got a pacemaker on Thursday. Unexpectedly.

Everything turned out okay. My Grandma's procedure went well, and she is recovering. I feel that my efforts to help two of my friends were beneficial. However, I was not able to help my third friend. I feel like I completely let her down. I just ran out of time. Some decisions are hard to make - make time for family or time for a friend in need. With this sense of failing my friend, exhaustion and just in general feeling overwhelmed, I turned to Conference. I was not left in despair. I am truly grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who opened my ears, mind and heart and assuaged my pain. I am grateful for His Spirit that has calmed my troubled heart and lifted me from the bitterness and sorrow I was experiencing. So many messages touched me, but I want to share a few that I particularly don't want to forget.

I missed the General Relief Society Meeting. I had set my VCR to record it, but forgot to rewind the tape. However, the recap of President Uchtdorf's message in the Church News touched me. It seemed to go right along with what he said in the Saturday morning session of Conference. In the Relief Society Meeting, President Uchtdorf told us that as women, "happiness is our heritage." He encouraged us to participate in two activities to invite that happiness into our lives: creating, and being compassionate. I love that he talked about creating - I have had some experiences in my recovery where I have learned the value of creating. Creating is a Godly attribute. It is one of the reasons I am so grateful to be a woman - I have the capacity (and hopefully some day, the opportunity) to create life. I was advised by a counselor once to budget my energy for time to be creative - whether it was scrapbooking or crocheting, cooking, writing or practicing music - that act of creation would help ease the depression I was suffering. I've also learned ( 2 Nephi 2:11-27) that there is opposition in all things. If creating is a Godly attribute, destruction is of the Adversary. It's given me pause over words I choose to use, and how to approach a child's temper tantrum. It's also encouraged me not to give up on a project.

In the Saturday morning session of General Conference, President Uchtdorf spoke of Hope. He said that Faith, Hope and Charity stabilize our lives despite uncertainty; that Hope is a principle of promise and a commandment. We have been commanded to overcome fear and despair and to have hope. I can't wait for the November Ensign to come so I can study this talk some more. President Uchtdorf said that we have things we hope for and things we hope in - I feel a need to study this thought more. He said that hope gives us a reason to rejoice even when all is dark around us. One of his closing thoughts made me smile - "Never give in, never surrender." If you're familiar with Galaxy Quest, you'll see the similarities. And it's true. Never Give In. Never Surrender.

Elder Holland's talk on Saturday afternoon really touched me. I don't really have much to add other than that I have a testimony of everything he said. The transcript will be available on Thursday - I'll try to remember to post it.

Elder Bednar's talk ended a beautiful day of Conference. He spoke on prayer. He said that our prayers can be more meaningful if we give thanks in all things (D&C 59:21) and if we focus on praying for others instead of ourselves (3 Nephi 17:17). But the idea that struck me most was that all things were created spiritually first; therefore, our daily prayer is the spiritual creation of our physical life. I confess that I struggle to remember my morning prayers. It seems a bathroom urgency is usually what wakes me and I forget to go back and take time to start my day with a prayer. But this idea that I need to spiritually create my day first has made a huge impact. I have noticed a difference in how I approach my prayers since.

I am so grateful that, with all the chaos in my life, I was given the opportunity to watch Conference, that the Spirit was able to break through the din of my thoughts and worries. I am grateful that the Lord has blessed us with Prophets and Apostles on the earth today to guide and teach us and bring us closer to our Savior.