Finding Joy

Today I had my annual dilated eye exam. And by annual, I mean that it's supposed to be annual but my last one was over three years ago. I remembered why my last one was over three years ago. I hate having an annual dilated eye exam. It is not fun. At all. Sure, the doctor was very nice and competent and sociable. The staff were friendly and also competent. And then they stick things in your eye: drops that sting, pokey things, bright lights. And then the panic starts. Anxiety levels go through the roof. And I am actually a little grateful for the drops that sting because I can explain away the sudden wetness on my face with them. (There are very few things in life I don't cry at. I'm not ok with this but I'm trying to be...) So there I am thinking "breathe! Remember to breathe!" and "wow, this isn't going to be such a great day."

And then I'm pulling into the driveway (they temporarily blind you and then send you out to drive home...) and there are two cute little toddlers out for a walk with their Grandma. And they squeal in delight to see me and come in for a treat and give me a big hug and lots of smiles.

And then my awesome sister posts a picture from our practically perfect weekend at our cabin. And I remember how wonderful it was to head up to the mountains and enjoy a last day of end of summer sunshine and then enjoy two days of fall storms with fabulous rain, lightening, thunder, mist, hail, and snow-tipped mountains. I also remember watching great-fun movies on VHS that I haven't seen in years. And playing games with my family laughing at me because I will always pick the green card from the Rook deck.




And then I have a delicious BCT (bacon, cheese, tomato - I don't like lettuce I've decided) sandwich for lunch with fresh from the garden tomatoes. And while I'm eating lunch I am able to see again and pull out a great book that I am loving re-reading (Little Women.)

And I remember to post a favorite quote on Facebook:
"We can distinguish more clearly between divine discontent and the devil's dissonance, between dissatisfaction with self and disdain for self. We need the first and must shun the second, for when conscience calls to us from the next ridge, it is not solely to scold but also to beckon." - Neal A. Maxwell

And so, I decide that today is a great day. I choose to be grateful that the exam, while painful and panic-inducing, went well and showed I had no problems with my eyes. I choose to be grateful that I don't have to worry about having another one for another year. I choose to be grateful that my health has improved to the point that that kind of panic is a rarity in my life now. I choose to be grateful for a wonderful family who can laugh at my OCDness and love me because of my weird quirks. I choose to be grateful for friends who stop to say hi and encourage their granddaughters to be friends as well. I choose to enjoy this glorious fall day. I choose to find joy.